Friday, December 31, 2010

Top 20 Of 2010

So 2010 has been a relatively good year as far as metal music is concerned. Lots of good metal worth checking out. Plenty of great debuts, awesome returns and tear jerking breakups. The underground continues to blossom as metal becomes a mainstream sensation. I can only foresee bad things from that though. All truly legendary metal has been released, perhaps not so much as an underground entity, but as an unknown entity. Carcass? Nile? Testament? The list could very well span a few miles...and I suppose this is the evolution of metal, and no matter how much I wish it would fix itself, I can't see it happening.

Even with this foray into popularity, this year has produced some great headlines, some sad headlines and of course, some what the fuck ones.With it, we've bore witness to such events as... 

the Dream Theater vs.
Mike Portnoy saga...

The Fear Factory legal scuffle...

...and the now blossoming
Max Cavalera vs.
Bobby Burns feud.

Shit, the grandfather of metal passed on.
Dio, age 67, was carried to the mountaintop
 to be returned to the gods by a dragon.
Or something.

A few others checked out. The Rev, Peter Steele, and Paul Gray (Of Slipknot fame, of which I hate) all decided to kick the bucket.
But when Nergal figured he would do likewise,
he Charlie Brown-ed it. Sort of?
So it doesn't count. Still.
Where is your god now?
Not in that hospital room.
A lot of other things happened this year worth mentioning as well.

One of my favorite bands, Red Harvest, decided to call it quits. What the fuck guys? this had better be only a step to a great return where I will be singed to ashes with some more ultra-industrial metal.

Also, Blackened death metal titans Zyklon are also throwing in the towel. Oh shit, why do all the good bands have to quit, and all the shitty ones keep pouring out horrifically awful music like The Autumn Offering and The Number Twelve Looks Like You. Oh yeah, they shit the bed too. Well, I suppose every cloud has a silver lining.

Deathcore overlords Despised Icon decided to end their run as well.

I was going to call them deathcore icons but...I couldn't bring myself to it. 

Melodeath powerhouse Luna Mortis also ended their run with two albums to their name. Seems a bit like they cut out before they really got into the shit to begin with.

But with these departures, we can welcome back such bands as...
                         Death look-a-likes Autopsy...                            ...Voivod...                                                      ...and Godflesh

We also got to see a cool tour. The big four. It's been long enough, they decided to man up and devastate some cities. I see this happening again soon. Only after Araya fixes up that pretzel he calls a spine.

The original guitarist for Swedish Melodeath GODS In Flames, Jesper Stromblad also backs out of the band in order to pursue rehabilitation for severe alcoholism. Did anyone watch the "A Sense of Purpose DVD? Shit. Daniel is worse off. Naked Wednesday??

Technical Metal band Textures loses a singer. Damn.

Anthrax takes in Belladonna. Again. Are they starting up a posse? MYPOSSE...MYPOSSE...

Sickeningly talented technical death metal band Arsis acquires a new bassist. Who would be interested when Malone cuts your face off with a harvester on "Forced To Rock"? No one.

Metal grab-bag band Kvelertak debut
with an album that I actually like a lot.

Dark Funeral explodes like an anti-christian bomb,
leaving only Lord Ahriman and Chaq Mol to wade through
the black metal rubble. Three out of five members bail?
Someone's got herp.

With all of this being said, I think it's time I pick my top twenty albums of this year. It was hard to pick who made it to the list and who fell short into the 'honorable mentions' category.

20. Tristwood - Dystopia et Disturbia 

Goddamn. I remember when I heard Napalm Death's "Barney" singing, I was slightly frightened. That guys voice is beyond intimidating. It's indescribable and inimitable (believe me, I've tried.) Tristwood is a close second as far as intimidating voiced go. Not only that, but the atmosphere in this album is just downright vile. So much aura, it's overwhelming when the first track finally kicks in and you're enveloped in this blackened death-groove of hate and fear. Tristwood are the last bad I found that made it to this list. I'm glad they did too. That album makes me shiver with pleasant contempt.

19. Obsidian - Point of Infinity 

I have no idea who these guys are, where they came from, but this album really impressed me. I've been listening to the first 4 or 5 tracks for a while. They could really turn out to be a great, popular band in 2011.

18. Ungrace - Hostile Revival 

An, more unknowns, again. This is definitely a band that has set up their tent in "Fear Factory Camp". Great heavy riffs, great choruses, plenty of headbanging. The singer has an odd voice. I like it though.

17. Aeon - Path of Fire 

Ahh yes. Good death metal that dislikes religion.Well what did you expect? Again, nothing groundbreaking here, just overall good metal. "Of Fire" should be enough of an explanation.

16. Trauma - Archetype of Chaos

Just a great album. I hadn't known about these guys until this album. Upon hearing "The Slime", I immediately purchased all of their albums. No regret.

15. Soreption - Deterioration of Minds

Often compared to Decapitated, Soreption are a very kick-drum oriented band. That drummer is really dealing out some damage on this one. Even though it's by definition, technical death metal, it's still got this unreal groove to it. The first track, sixth track, and eighth track are fine examples of this.

14. Immolation - Majesty and Decay 

Legends. Icons. Titans. By name alone, they belong here. But even if this were their debut, it'd be right where it is. Nothing groundbreaking, just an exemplary release by very metal veterans.

13. Fleshgod Apocalypse - Mafia 

No explanation here. Brutal Italian Technical Death Metal. Listen to 'Abyssal' and you'll know why it's on here.

12. Son of Aurelius - Myocardial Infarction

Another band who would be ridiculously awesome if they changed their singer. He just does not sit well with me. Even with this disadvantage, the musicianship brings them back on the list. It's quite the technically

11. Crionics - Noir 

That first track is superb. Crionics threw a curveball on that one. Aside from it being different from what they normally do, it's essentially nothing I haven't heard before. Crionics just executed it extremely well.

10. Synthetic Breed - Perpetual Motion Machine 

This album almost didn't make it. The music, spectacular. Technically speaking, it's perfect. Those Australians really bring the shit. (The Amenta, anyone?) The only problem I have with it is the anyeurism they call a singer. I really don't like him, and would rather have the guy they had on "Catatonic" on this album. I'll reveal something to you. In the metal world, I divide singers up into two different categories. Cats, and dogs. Cats have a shrieking, grinding shrill screech to their voice. This singer is a cat. So is the singer for Chimaira and, at times, Lamb of God. Now dogs, on the other hand, are rough, deep, and bellowing. A voice that carries. Examples would be Amon Amarth, Skinless, and another band on the list, Tristwood. Now, onto number 9.

9. The Acacia Strain - Wormwood 

This is about as far down the 'Deathcore scale" I can go before I back off. There's just enough intensity here to keep me interested. 'Beast' is, well, a beast. It really brings to light the anger and hate that The Acacia Strain seem to have. Songs like "Bay of Pigs", "BTM FDR", and "The Impaler" are highlights of the album.

8. Arsis - Starve For The Devil 

Ahhh. Sweeps and solos abound. Spastic rhythm changes. Powerful songs. Metal that never repeats a verse. Well, a lot of the time, anyway. This album is just well rounded. Lots of examples of great abilities by all members. "Forced To Rock" is one of the best opening tracks to an album EVER. It just gets me pumped.

7. Cloudkicker - Beacons

Noticing the trend yet? A lot of these bands have already made recent posts on AMR. And this is no exception. The guy is a brilliant musician and songwriter. That's right. The GUY. one dude, and he exemplifies talent. Some of the catchiest, djent-iest metal I've ever heard has been labeled "Cloudkicker". Beacons delivers in groove in technicality. And with that, no singing. Oddly enough.

6. Illidiance - Damage Theory

More unknowns. Ultra Cyber Metal. Catchy choruses, powerful drumming techniques and enough peripheral sound effects to spin your hat and fuck your anus. Fans of Fear Factory and Machinae Supremacy would like this album.

5. Misery Index - Heirs to Thievery

God this album kicks the shit out of me every time I listen. Adam Jarvis is a sickening drummer. Everyone in this album knows how to beat your head about, and this album is perfect for any sort of violent activities you may participate in.

4. Levi/Westler - Avalanche of Worms

I normally hate solo albums such as this. No vocals, and a self serving guitarist who wants to show everyone what he's got. (Yngwie? Yeah.) But in this case, I was wrong. It took me about four months to actually listen to it once I got it. And I wish I hadn't waited. This is such a melodic and catchy solo album. I don't even consider it a solo album. It's just...a sonic rollercoaster. Daath gets two places on my list. Deserved places, of course.

3. Noctiferia - Death Culture 

No one knows these guys. And that is a sin. Noctiferia know how to destroy. And with this album, they do so. They definitely have aspects reminiscent of Fear Factory, as shown with such tracks as "Demoncracy" and "Slavedriver". This is definitely an impressive album, even though this is the bands...fifth? They've got a few under their belt. They used to do black metal. I dunno. Whatever happened, I like it.

2. Daath - Daath

These guys get it. Fast, unrelenting, and they've managed to capture a more than eerie tone with their music, specifically the ambient background sounds. If anyone has ever seen Salad Fingers, the ambient noise in those animations remind me heavily of Daath. This is all around beautifully executed metal music.

Now...number one...

1. Fear Factory - Mechanize

Hate all you want. It's number one. It's got everything metal needs. Intense drumming, enormously heavy guitar riffs, pounding effects, and of course, enough groove to make any head crushing you may partake in, a little more rhythmic. This album signifies an enormous comeback from that abortion they called "Transgression". This is how Fear Factory should always be. Make all the fat jokes you want. They are the best and absolutely deserve this spot. The title track alone has more than seven times more plays on my media player than the next BAND that follows up. Which was Daath.

And now with the honorable no particular order.

Bloodspawn - Bring The Suffering
Underground death metal. Just quality. Good tunes.

Dawn of Ashes - Genocide Chapters
Took me a few tries to like this, but by god, I got into them. The singer has a very recognizable voice.

Inherit Disease - Visceral Transcendance
Fucking lunacy.

Dawn of Demise - A Force Unstoppable
Traditional death metal in the vein of Cannibal Corpse.

Dimmu Borgir - Abrahadabra
Symphonic chaos. I at first hated Gateways, but then it grew on me. That girl singer in the video looks like a 3rd grade teacher.

The Body - All The Waters of The Earth Shall Turn To Blood
Ever hear of Sun0)))? Ever hear of Khylst? Not that far off. This band is creepy. Lots of ambient stuff to pick up on multiple listens.

Anno Domini - Atrocities
As generic as this band is, they still pull of listenable music that doesn't seem to copy too much bands of it's generation.

System Divide - The Conscious Sedation
I was taken aback when I heard the extremely-extremely ultra hot girl singer take over on the chorus. The musicianship is also awe inspiring. I want that drummer in my band.

So I guess that's it for now. I'm sure we can look forward to plenty of new metal in the coming year. To name a few, Morbid Angel, In Flames, Testament, Carnal Forge, Machine Head, Devildriver. Have a drink to the new year. Get slammed.

Friday, December 24, 2010

I'm Going Caroling.

Fuck it, it's the holidays. You might as well drink and listen to this shit until you're dead,

Even though the next song is a joke band, whoever sang on it isn't half bad. Coming from a master death metal singer such as myself, that means a lot.

I don't need to explain this next video, at all.

EMBED-Christmas With Gwar - Watch more free videos

Thursday, December 23, 2010

AMR Shirt added

Are you all ready to be fashionable, styling, and all around sexually magnetic, not unlike the silent call to a woman from a pair of shoes or a kitchen?

Then prepare your anuses...

So I've been working on some AMR merch. For now, this is the only available shirts. I suppose with more viewers, there will be more demand for more styles. Until then, go suck a leprous prick.

It's The Cockpuss Holidays

This video is in the midst of going semi viral on YouTube. It's creepy in many aspects, not to mention funny. And for some reason, it gets stuck in my head. Along with another video that I'm thinking about holding back on for a little bit.

Just in case you were wondering what this Caribbean trans-gendered mutant was saying, he/she was kind enough to include with his/her video the lyrics to this song.

This is a vagina (pussy) awareness public service announcement; this is one of the songs that I have written. I hope that you enjoy listening to it.

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, oh,

Vagina, vagina, eh

Christmas pussy, pussy

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, oh,

Vagina, vagina, eh

Christmas jiggy, jiggy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas, lover boy!

Come over here, give me your dick

Dip it in, in my cunt,

Dip it in, in my cunt

Father Christmas, lover boy!

Dip your dicky in my cunt

Dip your dicky in my cunt

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, oh

Vagina, vagina, eh

Christmas pussy, pussy

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, oh

Vagina, vagina, eh

Christmas jiggy, jiggy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

This is Christmas,

We gonna have lots of sex

This is Christmas,

We gonna have lots of sex

This is Christmas,

We gonna have lots of sex

This is Christmas,

We gonna have lots of sex

Father Christmas, lover boy!

I'm here, I'm over here

Dip your penis in my pussy,

Dip your penis in my pussy,

Dip your penis in my pussy

Father Christmas, lover boy!


You Spilled My Coffee...

You fucking BITCH!!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Morbid Angel. Waiting.

If you're not giddy for Morbid Angel, you're a communist fucker. Okay, you're not that good.

Point is, I'm getting fed up with waiting for Morbid Angel. Eight years to make a new album. I'm sure they're busy being badasses and reading the Necronomicon among other grimoire. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rushing them,, demanding the new album now, but I've been recently on a Morbid Angel habit that I refuse to kick. People didn't care much for Heretic. I fucking LOVED it. Who is not banging their heads to "Enshrined By Grace"? "Beneath The Hollow"? "God of Our Own Divinity"?? Exactly. You loved it. Same with every other album they've churned out. Formulas Fatal To The Flesh? Yes. "Invocation of The Continual One". Need I say more? I need not.

Now let's not be shitheads here. Some bands have followed up great albums with shitty albums, in around a year.


Fear Factory. One of, if not, my FAVORITE band ever. This album almost made me cry.

I only liked one song from the original release. "540,000 Degrees Fahrenheit" has a great chorus. The rest of the album is a damn shame. If this album had not been released as a Fear Factory album, I would like it more. "Archetype" was so good, but this was just a total bummer.

A Killing Joke cover? A U2 cover?? They couldn't at least go the distance and be brutal with both tracks? They actually tried to recreate them.


One indication of a good vocalist is when you leave your band, they have to replace you with two people and then pump out a pile of garbage. It's like totally owning one of your friends, and then they shit their pants.

Two singers. Next thing you know, they'll be rapping on stage. Christian now looks so much better now that this has happened. Now that they see what he was worth and what he meant to that band. Now he's off with "Solution .45", "Miseration", "The Few Against Many", and I'm sure plenty of other up and coming stuff.


Max Cavalera is an iconic figure of metal. The second he left, Sepultura just tailspinned into what I consider to be one of the saddest deaths of metal. People hated "Roots". I don't get why. Tribal metal. Come on folks. Quit being asshats.

The only redeeming quality for this band is that the new singer they got is from my area. Thankfully Igor came to his senses and formed Cavalera Conspiracy. Now that's top shelf stuff, my friends.


This is one of the more recent events in metal where you watch a band make their first foray into mainstream metal. Metal for everyone. Come Clarity was on the edge, but there were some great songs on that album that kept it from doing what this album did. Nothing.

No one will (or should) forget "Whoracle", "Clayman", "Colony" and, "Soundtrack". In Flames has, generally, been consistent with good records. Let's hope the new album sans-Jesper will bring them back to where they belong. I don't expect this though, Jesper is really what gave In Flames that Gothenburg sound.

I suppose in light of these atrocities, I would trade off quicker releases for quality releases. It's a shame you can't have both. Anyway, I anticipate greatly, the return of Morbid Angel and expect nothing less than the best. They've yet to disappoint. 

Fucking badass...

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Those Are Some Mighty Stretchy Hamstrings...

I do not have to exculpate (fancy words guy over here!!) whatsoever the posting of this. It's a great one man band that knows how to do some groovy music, all instrumental, yet 100% there. Cloudkicker is just awesome. This guy is talented as fuck, and this song totally justifies itself.

Motherfucking Tristwood is Giving Me Wood.

I've been on a tear for ultra-crunchy, industrialized black metal. One of those bands, right now, is Tristwood. Unknowns. They're very talented heathens and I find myself swinging my head about whenever they're playing near me. They've got a very intimidating, bleak sound to them. I imagine every song of theirs being in the middle of a blizzard. A blizzard in a factory. A blizzard in a factory that makes pentagrams. Yeah. Excuse my rambling, here's the mayhem:

Monday, December 6, 2010

Dressing Up

The cyber-metal band 'Illidiance'. Cool get-up. Their new album 'Damage Theory' is pretty good. 

     I'm split about stage attire. Being the singer in a band, it's hard to decide if I want to get all gussied up for a show. Bands like GWAR come to mind when you think of "stage attire", and who doesn't like Gwar? No one, I submit to you. No one. There's a lot of directions to go, a lot of them, pretty bad. The whole androgynous, transgender trend has passed, thankfully. These guys though, I like it. Looks like something from the Matrix. Since they're cyber metal, it makes sense to look...cyber? Yeah. Cyber.

Some other bands do it well too:

If I even have to tell you who these guys are,
you shouldn't even be here. They're gods.
 They have the look and the presence. 
Kvlt as Fvck.
Too bad Nergal has Levkemia.

I don't mind Dimmu Borgier either.
They've got some epic parts. 

Black. Leather. Spikes. Metal!!!

The Audio Wrath of Anaal Nathrakh

Jesus Christ. Anaal Nathrakh. Who is not pulling their hair out and replacing all of their 'u's with 'v's?? Well if you aren't, you're missing out on some of the best extreme industrial post-black metal around (Niche music, anyone?). Let's face it. This is nonsense to everybody, save for the most hardcore fans of metal. That being said, here's a taste of what you're missing out on.

The Damned Things "We've Got A Situation Here"

Hard to believe a band like Anthrax is close to THIRTY fucking years old. Scott Ian is one of my favorite dudes in metal. He's immediately recognizable, and has participated in some classic old school thrash and crossover. Notably, S.O.D.

Anthrax and S.O.D. are pioneers, without question. This brings me to my point. "The Damned Things". A 'supergroup', featuring members of Anthrax, Every Time I Die, and...uhmmmm......Fall Out Boy.

Normally, any sort of association with Fall Out Boy means immediate disqualification from the metal world. For me at least. That being said, I hate to admit that this song is not that bad. It's got a pretty nice hook in the chorus, considering that it's comprised of 75% unsatisfactory elements. I actually am looking forward to this album, it has a sort of high powered 'Clutch' feel to it. Being that I like 'Clutch', I feel comfortable saying that I like 'The Damned Things'.

The video itself is pretty cool. Brendon Small of Metalocalypse fame takes the directing helm, to my approval of course. The video is funny and childish. Dethklok M.O.

Also, Brian Posehn is the luckiest dude, in this video at least.

Writing Failures, Career Endeavors, My Romantic Comedy and Other Charges

I've always wanted to write some long and dramatic story about a band of survivors who pull through some 'doomsday' scenario, living in a wasteland, the dynamic between each character fluctuating with every trial they may come across. The standard though, has been set so high for this area of writing, it's almost impossible to rise above everyone else's 'apocalypse' themed story. The idea now has to be so unique, so different and imaginative, that it would have to be ridiculous in its concept or exceptionally well done that the odds of either happening to me are quite slim. I had started work on a story many years, not long after getting my first computer. I would spend hours at a time, adding to its ever growing complex character interactions, descriptions of monsters, weapons, powers, it became so overwhelming, and I had to stop for some time to literally 'generate' ideas. No sooner did I take a week of, my computer decides to tailspin into an unrecoverable mass of wreckage. The story was lost, close to eighty chapters of material (though juvenile and certainly ridiculous), gone. I still remember its epic tale fondly, as I have wanted to continue this tale, but that would require work. And work is something that I really want to put forth to something I have more faith in.

Don't get me wrong, I loved dearly this tale (which I had deemed The Days of Damnation, and before that, The Odium Mountain). A lot of concepts and themes that I use today can be directly attributed to ideas that I had birthed specifically for the saga, which had been intended for three books total. I was teeming with ideas. Though not in word form. I did a lot of this fantasy writing strictly from imagery in my head. Imagine someone watching a movie and telling you what's happening, move by move. In the description I've given it perhaps is not so enthralling, but I of course made sure to go back and add various words of interest to make it not seem like the rundown of a six hour congressional hearing. The imagery would be so intense at times that I would get overwhelmed with the amount I would have to type, how quickly I would have to type to keep up with the action in my head. So much would happen at once, the story would degenerate from coherent sentences and chronological procession to a list of 'active words' that would be paired with an adjective. The emotion of the sentence, the action of the sentence, the effects and time scale would be forcefully condensed into four or five words, and then after I got through a certain scene, I would go back and start piecing together this smeared out, disorganized mass of words into articulate thoughts. It worked out pretty well considering I made it at least a thousand pages deep with this method before it all shot to hell. Well, not on my terms, anyway.

Even with what I thought was a very inefficient manner of conjuring up these scenes, the characters would inevitably witness some marvelous, fantastic locations beyond imagination (well, not beyond MINE, anyway) and they would encounter dangerous enemies, powerful gods, whose power would be assumed by these nine mortal teenagers. Yes, nine was the magic number. Nine was the recurring theme. Nine different protagonists, nine different gods, nine different strengths, nine different worlds. The whole book was meant to be symbolic with the number nine, so much so, I had nine word chapter titles, nine paragraph chapters and various other nine-related items. Obviously, at this time, the movie 9 had not even been conceived yet, so I at the time thought I was being original by picking an odd number and granting it almost godlike qualities.

The main protagonist was named Kevin. Kevin's troubling past led him to be sequestered in an institution for almost two years until a mysterious visitor appeared on a rainy night and offered him a box inside of it. In it was an orb which gave him several powerful capabilities. His specialty was fire. But with this power, he becomes schizophrenic to a serious level. Immediately after realizing his power, he flies into an identity crisis and subsequently turns his cell block into smoldering ruins, and flees into the night. From there he learns of a dangerous cycle that repeats ever million years or so. He also becomes aware that the human race has existing for billions of years and that our current scientific interpretation of the beginning of humans is extremely wrong. Humans and what turn out to be 'Angels' clash in a worldwide war so large and vast, 99.999 percent of the earth sentient life is eradicated, and with it, all of its technology, its kingdoms and almost all evidence of its existence. With his journey he discovers eight other people with similar powers. From what I remember, Kevin's childhood friend, Stephen, had the capability to an extraordinarily powerful, fur covered creature. Though some of the details have slipped from memory, I do remember a particular chapter where he fights an eighty foot golem alone. He survives. But he still gets his ass kicked pretty badly.

I remember the other powers included electricity, water, energy, blood, darkness, stone, and I think the last one was mind. Five guys and four girls. What with nine being odd, I don't have much choice. I didn't want the story to menstruate all over the pages after all.

I remember the gods, on this particular war cycle, had been crafting an enormous machine in space, simply titled END. A planet sized machine with a significantly sized lens in the middle that would fire terraforming-style beams of energy onto the earth. It also would affect gravity, launch enemies in these city sized chrome spheres that when landing, resembled nuclear bombs. I'll stop here, since if I go into any more details, I might as well just re-write the story. Oh wait. That's right.

I did.

Upon discovering my trash heap of a computer (and the resuscitation that followed) I realized that I had to start it again, do it better, more brutal, more bloody, more action, and more darkness. I didn't make it NEARLY as far as the first one, about a quarter as much, but it also fizzled out, though not by any fault of mechanical error. I simply just ran out of juice. I did change some details. No longer were there simply nine people with powers, I decided to include a small militia of rebellious citizens. Instead of being institutionalized, Kevin wakes late in the night to hear his phone ringing. His friend, Alex, alerts him that 'the uprising has begun' and to 'get his dad's guns and come over'. Kevin is torn, but upon viewing the destruction on the television, suits up with what he has and heads over to his friends house. They leave with a band of about eight people in a truck to the heart of the city, where they combat various military outfits in the downtown area. After a few encounters with the enemy, Kevin discovers that there are things amiss. He learns that the war was provoked by angels in an attempt to eradicate all humans. And how much easier it would be if they were fighting amongst themselves, right?

So with this realization, and battling an angel, he falls off of an extremely tall building. Instead of dying, the concrete cracks around him, and he realized he has powers…So on and so forth, eventually adopting the same storyline as the original. Except I made sure to be a lot more bleak. Along with the whole 'Nine' theme, I also adopted red as the primary color.

This is absolutely not the first writing endeavor that has fallen in on itself in the face of writers block or motivation. Sadly, most will succumb to a similar fate.

"Feeders", "Messiah" and "Erebus" come to mind as well. Three well thought out and planned ideas that simply fall to the wayside. I especially liked "Messiah" because for once, the moral wasn't some convoluted message, nor did it bear any resemblance to being kind, respecting people, or living life to its fullest. I had intended on the moral being simple. "People are bad. We deserve what we get."

"Feeders" though, I must admit, I painted myself into a corner. One setting, one or two antagonists, millions of protagonists. Nothing changed. I suppose feeders would make a much more appealing and thought provoking silent movie, than a story. (A story that was intended to have little to no dialogue whatsoever. What the hell was I going to write about for 250 pages when no one would talk?) Did I really think that I would be able to keep a story going with a few million mute, homeless people walking through an endless plain? Sure. The forecast for that story would be rather bland. Thirty mute people having the best vocal conversation ever. What more could you ask for?

How quickly I forget that I'm not quite the genius I so quickly convince myself that I am. This leads me to my next thought.

Film. There's a lot of work there. If I for a second thought that I was a terrible person for all of the projects I abandoned before I decide to endeavor into movies, I should be beaten. Imagine the work I would need to dedicate to something like that. Effects, scripts, actors, fleshed out concepts, conversations…it would be a shitstorm of failure… I think that if I were to venture into that industry, I would have to strictly stick to the writing portion. I couldn't imagine the responsibility that an executive producer or director must face when making a movie, especially on the scale I want to create. (Think Avatar, King Kong, any effects laden films).

However there are some areas of film that have yet to be explored. In a time where the romantic comedy is king, and it's second in command is the 'remake', what choice does someone have? It's too much of a risk to be avant-garde in your thinking. The potential for failure is too high. People think that the only thing outside of the box is a pile of dead babies, half machine, half organic velociraptor rapists, a looping tape of 9/11 and a downpour of AIDS and feces. The gamble is too much, as a lot of films that are deemed different usually fail as far as money. Though a lot of them eventually get their cult following. I know a movie that I like a lot is "Begotten". Now there's a film that got its point across without saying a word. Describing it would be a chore, as some parts of it make no sense. I would much rather have you experience it on your own in a dark basement. Though I wouldn't suggest it for the faint of heart. I would demand it. That being said, I would love to do a movie similar to that. A film with hardly any speaking. All of it is visually based. Like an acid trip coming out of a projector. And not a "That 70's Show" groovy acid trip with bright colors. I'd love to make a bleak, dark, horrifying film with spectacular sounds… place a few recording devices in a mental institution. Get some oddball noises and try to mess with people's minds. I think the best feeling you can get from a film is feeling side effects from it hours later. Though I'm sure some vaginal group would have a problem with it because it's scary or because what I would have to do to get it in a theater.

I kind of wish there were an occupation where someone would be hired to 'create'. That would be the PERFECT job for me. I imagine it would pay rather well, too. Think about it. You establish yourself in the entertainment world as a 'creator'. You assemble a portfolio of things you've created. A well structured portfolio would include music you've composed, stories you've written, pictures you've created, ideas, and concepts, a little bit of every field. I can just imagine, the phone calls I would get from some vile businessman who wants to create a pie chart for some awful investment company to help 'bring the point home' about various stock choices for the quarterly projection. Meanwhile, they're taking their slightly out of date vehicle to the seediest part of town and scooping up some crypt monster of a hooker and taking her to a motel for a night of hijinks. He'd eventually realize that she's kicked the bucket during their foray into the world of love-less making and have to spend the rest of the night digging. Or if he were smart, he'd just let her do a 65 mph roll into a ditch off of a highway. Then you could blame a trucker, I suppose. That's their MO.

Glib events aside, I can imagine some businessman calling and asking me to 'create' for them. I assume their request would be bone-to-dust boring. Nevertheless, I would accept, and before you know it, I hand to them a disc with a tedious PowerPoint presentation accentuated with nothing short of elevator music.

You say "graphic design"? Well yeah, that area, at least. It expands farther than that. Imagine then some film company, perhaps a producer, approaching you with a request that I score his next bid movie. Sounds great, right? Absolutely. And perhaps with such a call, I would then receive requests from perhaps, gaming companies, asking for me to now write some music for their new action packed game where you drive around town and beat up women and children whilst stealing cars and fling helicopters and UFO's and derailing trains. Why does that sound so familiar?

Okay yeah, now I'm a composer. It still does not end there. Perhaps after seeing my now impressive repertoire of creative genius, a movie company will contact me with a dire problem. The writer of their next movie has quit with half of the movie unfinished. Well god damn, what are they going to do? Well no worries, they've contracted the best 'creator' around to finish up this romantic comedy.

People would love it. Imagine Helen Mirren and Gerard Butler starring in it. The next big romantic comedy with two huge stars. The first half of the movie goes into detail about Gerard and Mirren's awkward love affair, they're both so shy and afraid to tell each other how they feel. Gerard realizes that women his age are immature and only out for well muscled men who have money. Mirren is a cougar who hasn't had sex since she was seventeen, and realizing that she's almost about to commit to the ground, realizes she needs a man immediately. About thirty five, forty minutes into the film, Gerard professes his love outside of Mirren's apartment after dinner has gone awry. Mirren at this point, realizes that this relationship is going to face problems. They both want to very different things, and she would not want Butler to become clingy. She had acquired him solely for sex, and she fears that he has now become her true love! He stands there, cold, wet and frantic, trying to convince her that he loves her and wants to marry her. Right as they are about to share a passionate hard-nipple kiss, the ground beneath Butler cracks apart, and he falls into a deep chasm filled with bubbling magma. Mirren is taken aback, so much so that she faints on her doorstep in the pouring rain. It turns out that Butler and Mirren, if allowed to continue, would have conceived a child that would put a stop to Lucifer's plans to destroy the earth and conquer heaven. Rising from the small plume of smoke that Butler has left, a large gateway rises from the magma, a portal to Malebolgian realm. Hundreds of thousands of demon troops pour from the opening and begin to assault the unsuspecting city, toppling buildings, burning orphanages and laying waste to the less fortunate. Mirren is inevitably consumed by a small gremlin. Brimstone rains down on the earth, and the last camera shot features enormous hooves stomping up an ancient stone staircase, and the last slow panning shot is an armor laden Lucifer, wings spread, viewing his handiwork, a grin plastered on his face. See? Seamless.

I can see being a creator being tough work. Ideas and what is considered 'cool' is very subjective. Not everyone agrees. I would imagine that somehow this would pose problems for the companies that hire a 'creator'. Be it music, artwork, film, books, album covers, music video editing, designing movie posters, film effects, someone will have something to say about how bad it is. Especially on the internet, where everything you read is true and everyone besides you is perfect at everything.

Perhaps if I had continued my work on the book, or been responsible, and backed up all of this material, I'd be still working on it today, though I highly doubt that I would be at this time. I have a saddening motivation issue. A Da Vinci complex. Once I start some sort of project, art, music, literature, it had better keep my attention at 100% or it inevitably gets sorted out into an 'incomplete folder, where sadly, most of my work calls home.

The motivation has definitely affected my life negatively. I can't imagine the amount of media I would have released with the proper motivation behind me. Though I shouldn't say that this sort of problem is all bad though, as I now seem to only put out things I deem to be the best. Realistically, this is a bad idea, since I have less to speak for me out in the eye of the public, and since only my best is seen, I can't blame someone for being better by using the excuse "Well I upload everything, not all of it is going to be perfectly awesome!".

Instead of buying ten tickets at a raffle, I bought one because of integrity. Or mental illness. Slightly shameful, but it's something I've come to terms with.

The Opening Metal Monologue

Obligatory Music Monologue

You've probably realized by now, my infatuation with metal, more or less my unrelenting obsession with it. How many times can you be told you listen to childish, nonsensical, unintelligible garbage for angst ridden teens, outcasts, loners and rapists. Child punchers, goat-beheading, bible cursing, long haired murderers? The list of terms could go on for way too long, considering that most of the non-metal population would agree on 'how terrible metal is'. To be fair though, I would just as quickly jump the gun and outwardly express my unearthly irritation and utter disgust towards music today. The Cow fucking country guys and gals, the gun toting simple-minded ghetto boys, wrist cutting, overly emotional scene kids, drugged out ravers. And 'lounge' faggots. Everyone has their stereotype.

People would not hesitate to say that metal is dumb. And I wouldn't be truthful if I told you that at times it isn't. When your band name is "Anal Cunt", no one is going to take you seriously. Same goes for bands such as "Dickvomit", "Jewgrinding Meatwhore", and who could forget " Semen-baby Crucifix". But I ask you to look past the few rotten apples.

Believe it or not, metal music is an indicator of intelligence. Okay, stop laughing. Try this logic. Think about that nerdy kid in school who probably got picked on, probably got beat up, made fun of, typical school garbage. Think about his thought processes. Odds are, he'll identify with a music that is similar to his feelings. Most 'nerds' in school weren't in UFC shape, weren't blessed with good looks or 'Mad panty-meat game". Instead he finds comfort in the 'outcast' of music. Angry, violent, and determined music. I know that's kind of what happened to me. But oddly enough I got a lot of friends because of the metal aspect. Perhaps these less popular kids will experience that same metamorphosis. Even if they don't, there's a good chance they'll go to metal music. And with his knowledge, he adds to the average IQ of every dead baby rapist and grandmother-pusher-over in the scene. Who knows. Maybe he'll start a band called "Labiarot" and get very famous from it. Fat chance. I can't imagine "Labiarot" getting any sort of commercial radio play.

I won't say I'm a guy that has had some problems with modern music. In fact, I will tell you that I have a LOT of problems with modern music. There's no longer any skill required to be famous. All you have to do is acquire a niche, a gimmick, or be flashy in your appearance to steal the hearts and minds of the idiots who eat it up as the next big 'musical breakthrough' of the 'whatever' century. I would focus on this as a topic, but I can honestly say I do not know enough about the music to be honest or fair. And I wouldn't be honest or fair about it either. I would just make jokes about it.
Perhaps a better insight as to why I'm like this? I would not be lying if I told you that I could not identify any popular Metallica song, know any lyrics or rhythms. To me, they're absurdly overrated, and I will lump a few other bands into that category: Tool, Led Zeppelin, Slipknot, Pink Floyd, The Ramones, and Nirvana. Now if you've scooped the shock-induced poop from your pants or panties, picked up your jaw and wiped away the tears, you may proceed to ask why I would say such a blasphemous thing.

I'll use Led Zeppelin as an example. And I won't even use the argument that they are notorious thieves (Which in the music industry is beyond unforgivable). Realistically, they were not anything different from the time, when you consider what the band did. True, as musicians, they were pretty good, but there was NOTHING there that was spectacular, or at least, unique. The only reason they're heralded as one of the greatest bands ever is because of. Well…I don't even know. You would think that with a band such as Led Zeppelin, the reasoning for their popularity would be something widely known and acknowledged. I don't even know.

Moving on, I'll try someone else. Tool. People who know me would not agree with this at all. In fact, they vehemently disagree. So much so, that it transpires into this enormous argument where the only reason one side gives up is due to exhaustion. In reality, it's nearly impossible to argue about music. The only indication of one side being 'victorious' in an entirely opinion based argument is the "I just like them" conceit. Which I cannot argue against either. I know there are bands I like out there that are nothing new or unique, and they have ascertained the amount of praise and fame they have earned.
Music of the present is a warning of the dark musical times we will face in the coming decade. I have a theory on this.
For those of you paying attention, you may have noticed that music with a heavier edge is becoming more and more popular. If you happen to be a parent, you've noticed this with your swoop-haired child with facial piercings and a slightly more than average homosexual tendencies. You may have noticed your seed has become laden in dark clothing with neon print. You may have also seen or heard their conversations about bands with names of streets in them, or seen their shirts feature a band name which is actually about four words mashed into one.

The problem comes before this.

Anybody who knows anything about metal (by the way, I am using the term metal very loosely. What I consider metal is NOT necessarily what everyone else considers metal.) would tell you that they've seen things change. I know why. The idea of being different is something that has captivated the youth of the world. Being told from a young age that everyone is unique, everyone is special. Which true in some instances, it eventually comes to a head. (I'll stick to people being unique by their music choice for now.)

Some people wanted to be unique by listening to the Ramones. Some people became unique by spinning Zeppelin records, Some people became unique by living a life of Elvis. Nirvana, Pink Floyd, Metallica, Slipknot. See a pattern here? You know all of these bands. Or, you should to some degree. They've all experienced significant success in their area of music. At least you've heard of them. What does this mean? It means that any popular band is going to inevitably fall apart. Keeping with fashion and trend, the now displaced music refugees have to find some new thing to latch on to. They turn to another unique form of expression, Metal. Don't get me wrong, I like it when I see people listening to metal. It's heartwarming in a sense, that someone is willing to listen to the music. But when you get an inundation of people who want to change the music, make it 'evolve', turn the music into their own, yet still be different, and call it metal. You're bound to have problems. During times when music prospers, it's because it's how people feel. People wrote and listened to music because they identified with the messages and emotions that came with it. Recently music has become a form is separating yourself from other people. It's now something to be unique with. Instead of liking it because they're comfortable with it, they like it because no one else does.

Long haired hipsters. The world is falling apart.